The $850 “Gift” That Changed My Relationship to Money

The $850 “Gift” That Changed My Relationship to Money

BY MARLEY FLEUGER

Every Monday morning, like clockwork, my phone pings with the same message from a friend:

“Time block b!” 

For the past two and a half years, it’s been her nudge to sit down and organize my week. Left to my own devices, I’ll juggle half a dozen projects in my head, start and stop tasks at random, and crash into functional freeze mode by lunchtime.

But with that one text, I’m reminded: Oh, right. I can plan ahead.

I’ve never felt embarrassed about that. My ADHD brain works the way it works, so I build systems around it. But last Christmas, I realized I’d been withholding the same grace from my finances.

The realization arrived first thing in the morning, when I checked my phone and saw an $850 autopay charge from my health insurance. Joy to the world! My premium had tripled for the new year.

My stomach dropped. I hadn’t even planned to renew that plan. I also hadn’t opened the email titled “IMPORTANT: YOUR NEW RATE,” because that is exactly the kind of thing I file as a future-me problem and forget.

Out of sight, out of mind, until the autopay hits.

The truth was, my finances were built in exactly the way my brain struggles most: multiple cards, autopays firing at random intervals, important emails buried among newsletters and junk mail. Numbers floating around in my head.

Instead of building systems, I’d been trying to white-knuckle it alone –– which, obviously, wasn’t working. 

Instead of building systems, I’d been trying to white-knuckle it alone –– which, obviously, wasn’t working. 

So, I decided to call in my people. 

  • A friend who’s also ND and I created a Sunday spending check-in to track our spending weekly. 
  • My roommate and I log shared expenses in a live document instead of Venmos that pile up and lose meaning. 
  • My partner and I set a weekly “going out” cap, and stick to cooking at home once we hit it.

None of these systems are complicated. They’re simply shared routines with a body double that keep money out in the open and hold each other accountable. 

And like that Monday morning text, I lean on my community to remind me: Oh, right. I can plan ahead.

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